Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
