My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
