i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am available for nakedness
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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