What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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