ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
