i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My dick has a subreddit
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
