i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
