Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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