You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
