Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
