i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
