i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
