I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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