Yo dont text me then not text me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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