at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
