i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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