ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
