Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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