So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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