the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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