I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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