So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
