I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I stole a fireplace last night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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