I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
