He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
