this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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