waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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