I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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