Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
