It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize