Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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