mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
