he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
