Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
