your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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