He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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