Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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