Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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