Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
