in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
