Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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