Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to make out with him forever
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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