So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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