This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
