Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
