i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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