forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
