Im at strip club and am horny
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
