1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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