I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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