That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
