I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
