I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
