i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
