Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
