i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
