My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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