two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
