We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
