let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
