My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
