i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It was confusing and full of hummus
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize