$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
