why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
