so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
