Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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