Four minutes until I can fart!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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