Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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