Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
