I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
