Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize