Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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