My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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