Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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