So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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